It’s one thing to seek help when friends and family are truly unable to assist. But it’s an entirely different kind of disappointment when you turn to loved ones who have the ability to help—yet they choose not to.
It’s one thing to seek help when friends and family are genuinely unable to assist. But it’s an entirely different kind of heartbreak when they have the means to help yet choose not to.
In today’s story, a father had access to a fund set up by his parents specifically for his children’s education. Yet, when his daughter struggled to make ends meet in college, he refused to use it for her—reserving it solely for his son instead.
The story begins with the father explaining that his children had an education fund, generously set up by their grandparents to support their academic journeys.
Now, the father is turning to the internet, questioning whether he was wrong for withholding the funds—especially since his daughter no longer has access to the money.
He began by sharing that when his children were younger, their grandparents generously established an education fund for them. Over the years, he and his wife assumed both kids would pursue college and eventually graduate school. However, his daughter followed her passion for music and film, enrolling in an expensive school—but thanks to scholarships, her tuition was fully covered.
Throughout it all, OP and his wife chose not to tell their daughter about the education fund. As a result, she struggled through college, living in a cramped apartment and learning to budget every penny until she graduated.
After earning her degree, she landed a job she truly loved but ultimately decided against pursuing further education. Meanwhile, their son followed a path in engineering but, like his sister, had no interest in grad school either.
However, unlike his sister, their son didn’t receive scholarships. So, OP and his wife used the education fund to fully cover his tuition and living expenses, allowing him to enjoy a comfortable lifestyle in a spacious apartment near his school—something his sister never had.
When OP’s daughter eventually questioned how her brother could afford such a lifestyle while she had struggled to make ends meet, she was blindsided by the truth. Learning about the fund for the first time, she was completely shocked.
When his daughter asked if she could access her share of the fund, she was met with another blow—removing the money would come with penalties, ultimately sending it back to her grandparents.
Feeling betrayed, she distanced herself from her parents and stopped answering their calls. Despite this, OP insists that the money was never truly hers—it was intended solely for education. However, his daughter remains deeply hurt, knowing that while she struggled, her brother had full access to the fund without question.
Image credits: Wavebreak Media / Freepik (not the actual photo)
According to the Counseling and Wellness Center, parental favoritism can have long-lasting effects on both the favored and unfavored child.
This bias can arise from factors like gender, birth order, or even career choices. While the unfavored child may grapple with feelings of resentment and inadequacy, the favored one might struggle with dependency and a constant need for external validation.
When it comes to career choices, Valor Dictus highlights a common bias—many people perceive liberal arts degrees as less valuable due to the limited job market compared to high-paying STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics) careers. However, they emphasize that the arts and humanities should never be undervalued or dismissed, as they play a crucial role in society and culture.
By choosing not to use their daughter’s fund despite her clear need, OP and his wife unintentionally discouraged her from seeking help in the future, as affirmed by Therapy Group of NYC. They explain that when someone knows you have the ability to help but chooses not to, it can lead to feelings of betrayal and a reluctance to ask for support.
The response from netizens was brutally honest. Many criticized OP and his wife for being unfair, pointing out that both children made the same decision to forgo grad school—yet only the son reaped the benefits of the education fund.
Others suggested that OP and his wife should compensate their daughter for the hardship she endured while her brother received full support. This idea stems from the belief that fairness should be restored, especially since both children made similar choices about grad school.
Personally, it’s understandable why people would feel this way. The daughter worked hard to make ends meet, and the disparity between the support given to her and her brother could understandably leave her feeling hurt and betrayed. Compensating her or at least acknowledging the unfairness might help heal the rift. In situations like this, communication and a genuine effort to address the emotional impact of such decisions can be crucial for rebuilding trust.
What do you think? Would compensation be a step in the right direction, or is it more about restoring the relationship and providing emotional closure?
